Happiness through 12 Steps

Today I returned to my first *12 step recovery meeting for food addiction in over a year. I know that I belong there. I could relate to the story the speaker told so much. She expressed that she never really got very heavy, yet she knew that she had a food addiction. She also talked about her depression, her needing to control, and her anger issues. As I was listening to her I was thinking the whole time, "yes, yes, yes."

I couldn't bring myself to stand when it was time to introduce myself as a returning. However, the group was small so everyone knew that I was new. At the break I was greeted by a few of the ladies that were there. They were so kind and encouraging. I felt loved and these people, and they didn't even know me. It was such a positive feeling. I don't think that it was a coincidence that the speaker today had a story so similar to mine. I think that was God stepping in and saying, "Pamela, you need this. It is my gift to you that you know about it."

Currently I feel like I am drowning in sadness and lethargy. Yesterday my husband Jeff told me that he thinks I really need the help offered by the program. He said that I had more energy, motivation, and just seemed altogether more collected. I know he is right. I know that sugar fogs my mind. I remember after the initial detox with the program  my thoughts were crisp, I slept well, I was more put together. I am a drug addict, and my drug of choice is sugar. The thought of committing to the program really terrifies me. It is such a huge life change. But the thought of living depressed and addicted to food for the rest of my life terrifies me even more, which I think got me in the door. I know that the program is not the end all to my sadness. I know there are other life changes that I need to make. Some I have indicated on here already. But I think that this program will be the key to me being able to move forward and make the other changes necessary in my life.


Namaste

*If you are interested in learning more about the 12-step program you can send me an email at adiposewarfare@gmail.com and I will provide you with the information. :-)